WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The head of the Catholic Church has sent shockwaves across the globe this week, after the Vatican confirmed he is in a critical condition.
Reporters were informed on Saturday night our time that Pope had been admitted to Rome hospital with “prolonged asthma-like respiratory crisis” while being treated for pneumonia.
While the PR machine behind the extremely wealthy entirety with charitable status has sought to try and explain the health situation in the nicest way possible, an insider at the Vatican has confirmed to The Advocate what the real cause for concern is.
In a Betoota Advocate exclusive we can reveal that the Pope has been admitted after honking on too many cheap disposable vapes.
“He actually made himself Nic Sick in the toilets last year,” explained the insider.
“And at that point those within the inner circle began to worry about his addiction.”
“But despite banning him from the cheap chemical outlets, the Pope has been spotted multiple times in the carpark of a Rome Maccas and at the train station buying cheap vapes.”
It’s believed that while he never actually consumed ciggies, Pope Francis was curious about the new phenomena a couple of years ago, and became immediately hooked after trying.
“Man, he’ll be sitting there in the Sistine Chapel and you’ll see little vape clouds just emanating out of him,” said the insider.
“If he makes it through this, doctors have told his team to make sure his under 24 hour surveillance.”
More to come.
