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In a desperate bid to curry favour with the female population, the PM has taken the extraordinary step of affixing Frangipani stickers to the back windscreen of a second-hand Holden Cruze specifically purchased to connect with female voters.

2021 has been a disastrous year for the coalition’s relationship with women, with rape allegations, half-arsed apologies, and the sexual assault of a non-consenting desk.

March has seen the proposal of quotas for the proportion of women in the Liberal Party because incredibly women don’t seem to be too keen to work in the kind of workplace where even furniture isn’t safe.

The purchase of the used Cruze and subsequent adornment with Frangipani stickers represents a serious attempt by the PM to try to claw back credibility and hopefully entice some women into the Liberal Party sausage-fest.

This reporter joined Scott Morrison in the Cruze, as he crawled the malls on the lookout for women to impress.

“I know all about what women want” explained the Prime Wominister, as he has started calling himself.

“I watched the movie What Women Want last night with that Cranky Max guy in it. Wait, I see some women, watch me connect with them. Hey ladies! Hey! How good is Gilmore Girls? I was just watching my favourite episode last night with a bottle of Omni Blue”.

More to come.

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