LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
5,000 soldiers have been deployed to Fraser Island to assist with the firefighting on the island made of sand.
10,000 members of the army reserves are speculated to join the firefighting efforts on the island, as Prime Minister Scott Morrison insists we have to throw everything we can at these horrific fires.
“What! We gotta do something! I’ll hold a hose, c’mon let’s go lads!” shouted the Prime Minister as he struggled to remove the plastic packaging off a Super Soaker.
“If you don’t have your shoes on soon I’m leaving without you, go! NOW!”
A senior advisor to Mr Morrison states they are to blame for the Prime Minister’s sudden urge to be involved with natural disasters by stating that Fraser Island always kind of reminded them of Hawaii.
“It was stupid of me. I just said they’re both a nice sunny place to have a drink and get your feet wet,” stated the advisor who wished to receive the same anonymity as Witness K.
“And, you know, bogans love ‘em both.”
At the time of writing Mr Morrison is at Hervey Bay Hospital, being treated for burns to his hand after his repeated attempts to punch the fire.
“Heh heh, you should see the other guy!”