Prime Minister Morrison has finally snapped this morning and agreed to meet with the thousands of women gathering outside Parliament House today.

After playing a straight bat for the last few days towards the momentum building around the March4Justice, Scotty From Marketing has finally decided to begin negotiations with protestors, who he initially refused to meet with.

Hundreds of thousands of women are expected to march in Canberra, Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane to demand action in response to allegations of a toxic culture of misogyny in Parliament House.

However, the demonstrations outside the capital are today causing the most concern for the Prime Minister, who is refusing to investigate damning claims against some of his most powerful staffers and cabinet ministers.

High profile politicians have walked out of Parliament House, led by Penny Wong, Sarah Hanson Young and Anthony Albanese and trailed by other young staffers – many of whom take great issue with the prospect of being sexually assaulted by high ranking superiors in their own workplace.

As the roar of the crowd grows, Scotty has realised that unlike the time he forced handshakes upon pregnant bushfire survivors in Cobargo, the current hysteria around his governments treatment of women might not disappear under a few flattering front pages in the Murdoch papers.

So, at midday today, he decided to take action.

“Free ironing boards for all” he said to a group of increasingly nervous political advisors.

“Surely that will settle them down. What else do they want from me?”

With the one female out of the 19 staffers in his office left speechless, Morrison remains unchecked as he continues digging this hole.

“Wait up. I think there’s an ironing board in Michaelia’s office.”

“She fixed up my shirt the other day before the vaccination photo shoot”

“Let me go grab it and i’ll take it out the front”

“Checkmate snowflakes. These women will be cheering for me by the end of their rally”


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