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A local jet-ski-owner who’s been dreaming about sinking Bintangs at Kuta beach is absolutely ropeable that the budget airline he has booked a holiday with is having hesitations about flying to Bali.

This comes after experts have declared an eruption at Bali’s Mount Agung volcano is imminent – with hundreds of tremors are being recorded at the site each day, and more than 75,000 people evacuated in the past few days after local authorities declared a state of emergency.

However, 43-year-old FIFO formwork installation expert Kenny says that it’s criminal for these airlines to cancel at such a late stage – with him and his family as well as three of his mates and their families ready to board a flight.

“Of course we didn’t fucking pay for insurance!” he spits at our reporters.

“These fucking planes can go up to like two kays in the air”

Kenny, who spent an hour in the airport bar with his mates before his wife made him aware of the possible cancellation of flights, says if his cheap international alcohol-fuelled holiday to a developing South-East Asian country gets ruined by a fucking volcano then he’s gonna blow a lid. Although, judging by his behaviour at the flight desk at this very moment, he may already have.

“I know my rights. Show me your fucking manager” he says to the timid staffmember behind the desk.

“This is fucking bullshit”

Mount Agung hasn’t erupted for more than 50 years. The last time it did, in 1963, more than 1,000 people were killed and hundreds more were injured.

Lava flowed for 7km from the crater, and the ABC reports that survivors of the catastrophe recall a “rain of ashes”.

But the most deadly feature of the volcano were the devastating pyroclastic flows: waves of superheated gas containing gas, ash and rock that can travel hundreds of kilometres an hour.

“Who gives a fuck!” says Kenny.

“Grow a fucking set”

 

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