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The prominent coastal town has today praised the state and federal government for their tireless efforts in keeping potential tourists, or just run of the mill motorists, as far away as possible from their local businesses.

The town at the centre of this particular bypass is Woolgoffs Tamba, a 20,000-or-so-person-town situated in the centre of New South Wales’ mid-north coast.

Locals say they are so stoked to see such a noticeable drop in visitors. Especially after they just built that new KFC with eighty car parks.

“Should be get to get a bit more peace and quiet back here” said one local retailer, Macquarie Forster (55).

“The endless stream of business on the outskirts of our town was getting annoying”

However, not all of the town is happy with the bypass – with some locals labelling motorists who decide to not drive into a town for lunch as ‘class traitors’.

“Mate, if we don’t have servos for the kids to work at they’ll be bored shitess, and probably just bashing what remaining tourists we have left” said a local townie named Jaredthye (19).

“I’m all for bashing tourists, but it’s no good if we only have like 100 of them once a year visiting their own beach houses”

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