After providing an environment that fostered a mob mentality amongst hundreds of thousands of fans to spend two years booing an Australian Of The Year recipient into an early retirement, the AFL has today revealed that they had simply no idea what was happening.

This comes as the southern football code and its 18 clubs have issued an unreserved apology for the sustained racism experienced by Indigenous AFL star Adam Goodes.

Despite being one of the most memorable and talented players of the modern era, Goodes’s final three AFL seasons were soured by continuous booing and racist slurs, which up until about five minutes ago was put down to him “bein (sic) a flog” – a Southern Australian epithet used in replacement of racial slurs.

The apology comes ahead of several documentary premieres about the booing and how the AFL isn’t as woke as it thinks it is.

“To be honest, we thought it was because he was stealing free kicks” said AFL CEO and prominent Au Pair procurer Gillon McLachlan.

“But, you know, with two seperate documentaries coming out this month about how disgraceful that moment in history was, we’ve had to have a long hard think about why it happened”

“So in hindsight, yes, our fans shouldn’t call Aboriginal people apes. Even if they come across as a bit cocky and play for a team we don’t like.”

“Also we shouldn’t provide a platform for Eddie McGuire to cool him a sook. Even if Eddie’s sense of humour is what most Victorians would consider to be the pinnacle of comedy”


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