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Sources within God’s winter game have revealed that the self-righteous NRL Referees Association is about three days away from receiving an offer they can’t refuse from the man trying to resurrect the sport.

The NRL and the Referees Association have entered arbitration this week after high-level talks between the groups broke down.

It’s understood by The Advocate that the referees refused to meet ARL chairman Peter V’Landys AM in the middle and elected to walk away from the bargaining table, taking with them the hope that the road to the planned May 28 restart would be free from potholes.

‘After successfully negotiating with the New Zealand and Australian federal governments, two multinational broadcasters, two state governments and the Australian Medical Association, it seems Mr V’Landys’ biggest hurdle will be the sport’s whistleblowers and flag-wavers.

Speaking to The Advocate this morning, some sanctimonious, part-time road cyclist from the Referees Association said the NRL needs to start treating them with a bit more respect.

“They’ve already said there’s only going to be one of us on the field, which means there’s going to be 50% job cuts. It’s simple maths,” he said.

“It’s not our fault that our eyes are painted on and can’t run a game of football on our own. God knows how they did it back in the old days! [laughs] But seriously, we had to walk away because we weren’t being heard and our opinions weren’t being respected,”

“Without referees, rugby league stops. Like what you see on those Linfox trucks, you know? We need a safe working environment.”

However, if our reporter’s source is correct, that sanctimonious road cyclist’s opinion is set to change to a carbon copy of Mr V’landys’ within a matter of days.

Only he, the NRL Referees Association and God will know what that offer will be.

In the meantime, a number of young men around the country have put their hand up to referee games if called upon to do so.

Including Keegan Taylor from Betoota Heights, who contacted this masthead to ask our reporters to let Mr V’Landys know that he was available.

More to come.

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