Local clothes wearer Damian Stewart (28) wonders what the high end fashion designers at regional fashion outlet, Blowy’s Bedclothes, were snorting when they went completely overboard and designed a shirt with three spare buttons.

A race day enthusiast with no interest in horses, Stewart has specific dress shirt needs, requiring a style that looks suitable at the races, garden parties and custody disputes, along with a fabric that can really take a stain.

Inspired by real estate agents of the mid-noughties, Stewart picked out a silver and grey bubble-patterned long sleeve shirt with a plain white collar, hoping it would match well with one of his roughly 300 skinny ties.

Upon arriving home Stewart realised the shirt designers must have known the exact target market for such a shirt and had attached three spare buttons to the garment, so it could still be used after it is inevitably damaged in an easily avoidable situation.

“What do I need three spare buttons for?” asked a confused Stewart.

“What do I need one spare button for? I don’t know how to sew on a button, if one comes off I just stop wearing the shirt.”

“What kind of person manages to lose three buttons in one shirt’s lifetime?”

As luck transpires, Stewart later revealed he had lost a button on his shirt during a race day incident he could only describe as ‘legendary.’

Lacking the skill and sewing kit required to affix one of the three spare buttons excessively attached to his shirt, Stewart states he is going to keep the shirt in a drawer just in case he needs it and to eventually be donated to charity in about 15 years time.


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