ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Federal Government unveiled a new plan to help the nation’s kids under five this week by telling voters childcare will be subsidised from next year for their second child, which they say might help women accomplish their dreams of being housewives with no kids to look after.

“I mean,” laughed Treasurer Josh Frydenberg.

“That’s the goal, right?”

The Treasurer spoke candidly to reporters in his native Melbourne over the weekend he and Marise Payne, who is by-chance the Federal Minister for Women, went through what future families can come to expect.

“If you have more than one kid, first of all thank you for creating another little future tax payer and second of all, the Morrison Government is here to help you cover the costs of your second kid’s childcare bill,”

“But if you’ve only got one, then you can pretty much tune out now. This isn’t for you. So, basically every second kid in Australia stands to benefit from this. If you have two kids or more then get a pen and paper because I’m only going to explain this once,”

“From 2022, which is next year, we will subsidise up to 95 percent of the childcare costs for the second kid. I’ve covered that previously. We will also help cover the costs of the third and forth and so on,”

“If you only have one then you haven’t really done your duty as a red-blooded Australian woman. This new policy is about giving kids the best start in life and it’s about giving women their days back to run errands and get their hair done or whatever the hell women do when they’re unsupervised during the day,”

“Which, in the Government’s perspective, means women also stand to gain from this policy, which is grouse,”

“Men do also because they’re paying less money! That new Ping driver should be there for Father’s Day!”

Our reporter then directed a question at Senator Payne but Josh indicated they were out of time.

More to come.


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