ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Byron Bay has washed into the sea, ruining the holiday plans of millions over this summer.

There is no more beach, no more going to markets and eating nice meals. No more alfresco living and certainly no more beach time.

So where are the nation’s stock of reletively wealthy white folks going now for holidays?

“They’re coming here, for fucks sake,” said one Hobart man who spoke to The Advocate this afternoon via Skype.

“Mainlanders are everywhere. There’s no food in ther supermarkets, no hotel bookings available. People blowing up about not being able to hire cars. You can’t even get a round of golf anywhere,”

“It’s bad enough we had the Melbourne yuppies come down here and fucked the real estate market. Now that Byron Bay is pretty much a ritzy version of Mogadishu thanks to this east coast low, they’re all coming here,”

“Honest to God, this year has just been one blow after another.”

One white person we spoke to said Tasmania sounded good this time of year, considering how hot it’s been already in the Simpson Desert.

They said they usually go to Noosa, but that’s been fucked by the fact there’s too many fucking people on this Earth.

“So we’re thinking about going to Tassie, getting our coats out again,” they said.

“Because we haven’t been able to go overseas, we have so much money. We don’t know what to do with it. I could put it toward a hosue deposit or something boring like that but I need – and deserve a holiday.”

More to come.


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