The ABC has today unveiled a bright new talent to the nation.

With the public broadcaster on a PR run promoting it’s line ups for 2021, the Comms department has also released one for the future – Wyatt Bred.

“He fits perfectly with the demo we are going for on our flagship news and political programs,” explained the 52-year-old terrace house Comms Director on a very solid 6 figure salary at the broadcaster.

“He fits what we think our audience is,” said the resident of a nation where nearly half of the population are 1st or 2nd generation immigrants.

This comes after the organisation who has the need to reflect the diversity of Australian culture engrained in its Charter, published a PR shot of white people presenting or hosting all of their premier programs.

Following that, they revealed that the 5 day old slice of Wonder White bread was reportedly discovered in Balmain cafe early this week and has been earmarked as a future presenter or host of one of their famous news or politics programs.

“Plain white bread is actually quite hard to discover in Balmain,” laughed the Comms director.

“Anyway, we just think he’s got a real passion for telling stories that we can all relate to here in the ABC echo chamber,” she continued mirroring the mentality in the vast majority of Australia’s large media organisations.

It’s believed the young upper-middle-class piece of white bread who comes from a family of bread loaves that people in the media recognize in conversation, wowed the Broadcaster with his firey Twitter profile.

“He also loves wearing boot cut jeans and isn’t proud of talking about what school he went to,” laughed the Comms Director.

“So everyone can talk shit about it, but there are still enough people in this country desperate enough for something other than Reality TV and Sport that they’ll keep tuning in no matter what.”

“I’m not going to jeopardize the sense of comradery and unspoken code in our organization that our jobs are on the line if we actively make more of an effort to promote different voices”

“And if you want some real ethnic shit go and watch or listen to SBS alright.”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here