ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Victorian Government has completed the sale of the state’s Office of Births, Deaths and Marriages (OBDM) to iconic family restaurant chain McDonald’s in a deal that’s worth over $5 million.

From the 1st of July, all births, deaths, and marriages in the state of Victoria will now be known as “McBirths, McDeaths, and McMarriages” and will attract a $47 service fee.

It’s understood by The Advocate that each McBirth, McDeath, and McMarriage will also include a voucher that can be redeemed at any McDonald’s in Victoria.

The sale of the OBDM has attracted widespread criticism, but Victorian Premier Jacinta Allan said the state desperately needs to improve its bottom line.

“McDonald’s is a favourite among all Victorians, and it’s safe to say the Office of Births, Deaths, and Marriages is in good hands,” explained Premier Allan in a phone call to The Advocate this morning.

“Ronald McDonald himself will be present at the first birth on July 1, which is a planned c-section at Hamilton Hospital at 9 a.m. However, there’s always the possibility that there will be another unplanned one somewhere between midnight and that time. That would anger Ronald.”

“It’s a busy day because after that, Ronald is due to officiate the first wedding in the McMarriage era at noon. That’s in Melbourne. As for the first death, Ronald could easily shoot the Hamburglar in cold blood at 12:01 a.m. on July 1. He has that option.”

Shepparton couple Duravit Kohler and Reece Sink are due to tie the knot on the 6th of July and have already spent the $20 McDonald’s voucher in their heads.

“We’re going to get two McFeasts and a soft serve cone each,” said Reece.

“Then we’re off to the reception at The Carrington.”

More to come.


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