ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Somewhere in China lives a man with the nation’s lowest social credit score.

And there’s a man in Betoota Heights who dreams of one day having a beer with him.

“I bet he’s such a fuckwit, it’d be so interesting,” said Geoff Swayne, a semi-retired businessman from Betoota Heights.

“He’d probably insult me, call me names. Spit on me and being a dickhead to the waitstaff. Can you imagine what he’d be like? It’d be like going for a beer with Mark Latham only it’d be worse,”

“But given the current situation in the world and the deterioration of relations between China and Australia, I doubt I’ll ever get to live out my dream. If you’re reading this, my Chinese friend, I’m coming,”

“You probably not allowed to come here.”

More to come.

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