ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Taking a leaf out of Jason Bourne’s book, a French Quarter man has revealed to The Advocate that he’s been able to keep is slight addiction to smoking a secret by holding them with a blue clothes peg as he puff.

The aim is, says Dylan Spogel, to keep the smell of smoke away from his fingers while at the same time preventing them from turning yellow.

“I told everybody I quit about a month ago,” he said.

“And they’re still under the impression I have quit but I just couldn’t. Work was too much and the bottom line is, they’re just glorious. So what if they make you die sooner? I can’t afford to live after I retire anyway,”

“Nevertheless, thanks to this little blue clothes peg I have in my backyard, nobody, including my housemates, knows that I’m back on the lung beers.”

Our reporter reached out to a number of people in the 28-year-old’s life about how good he’s been going off the darts.

All but his mother laughed.

Speaking candidly to The Advocate about her housemate Dylan and his ability to stay smoke free for so long, Sylvia Goldman explained that he thinks people came down in the last shower.

“He comes back into the house after ‘walking around the block’ and he just bongs of Peter Stuyvesant. He’s had Peter in and out of his mouth since the door clicked on the way out,” she said.

“And it’s not just me. We all know he’s a little Dart Prince. It’s OK, though. He’ll either quit again or tell us in his own time.”

More to come.


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