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“Oooooft,” he said.

“See what happened with Brexit this morning? It’l be hard to come back from this, I reckon.”

Nobody who Colin Brettson, an account director at Clemenger South Betoota, asked that question to actually heard it.

Because he finds it appropriate to say ‘oooft’ out loud.

As the CSIRO pointed out earlier this month, the people who walk among us who say the word ‘ooooft‘ aloud are actually devoid of a personality and rely heavily on online trends to suppliment that fact.

And current online trends has seen the rise of the term ‘ooooft’ – used to express benign melancholy and sadness at something heavy shared on social media.

Which is why Colin is now saying it with soul-sucking frequency.

Never the less, his question was met with a few muffled ‘I don’t knows’ and a handful of ‘Fuck off Colin you suit fucks’.

One of his coworkers who told him to fuck off was Simon Treven, who like Colin, has yet to come to terms with the fact that he’ll never get to work – or be as cool as the people who get to work at Colenso BBDO.

He told us that every single time he hears Colin say ‘oooft’ out load, a small part of him dies.

“Fuck I just wish he wouldn’t,” he said.

“It just makes me cringe so hard. There’s some words that belong on the internet and nowhere else. Oooft is one of those fucking words,”

“If I had less interpersonal skills, I probably would’ve bombed him and waited at my desk for the cops. Seriously. Stop it, Colin.”

More to come.


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