ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

In what could’ve been another ordinary Tuesday afternoon at the Gelded Goanna Hotel in Betoota Ponds, a local tradesman threw caution to the wind today by opting to try his hand at brickie’s bingo – otherwise known as Keno to those outside the know.

Speaking to The Advocate as he carefully read the instructions on the back of the playing card, pausing only to take a sip from his room-temperature pint of Guinness, Mark Pinochet said he’s always had a ‘morbid curiosity’ surrounding Keno, he says, but today he was determined to give it a go.

“I’ve asked my colleagues what their birthdays are and I’ve scribbled out the numbers. If they all come up on that screen, the poon behind the bar reckons I’ll be a millionaire,” he laughed.

“Tell you what. I’ll tell you something for free, I will. If I become an instant millionaire on the back of a simply hand of brickie’s bingo, I will buy the biggest Stabicraft I can and fish all the tuna out of Lake Betoota. There will be none left,”

“As Ned Kelly once said, ‘easy come, easy go. Here for a good time, not a long time,’ yadda yadda yadda you know what I mean. Hey! I’ll tell you another thing for free, the last one, I’ll start charging you soon! [laughs] Oi! This afternoon, at least that bastard Peter Panner isn’t going to take my money! Bald-headed prick!”

Our reporter nodded and gave Mark a polite shakka.

He nodded and went back to looking up at the Trackside television with a puzzled expression while he glanced down at the Keno slip, trying to make sense of it all.

More to come.


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