ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

He thinks the Eureka Stockade was a false flag attack and Paul Keating is an extroverted trap hellbent on destroying our democracy.

Dennis Cormorant loves Trump. He told The Advocate this morning that before the Donald’s ascention to the world’s most powerful office, he kept his opinions to himself.

But now, he says, he’s got a free licence to say what everyone else is thinking because of his election.

However, he plans to retire next year from his position at Diamantina Air Freight and spend his twilight years enjoying his superannuation and all the fruits that come with it.

“I’m what the young people call red-pilled,” he said.

“That means I live in the real world. Trump isn’t letting China, which is the biggest threat to our Western way of life, walk all over him. He’s giving it back to them,”

“I’ve got some YouTube videos you can watch if you want some more information on the red-pill movement. Your blue-pilled editor Clancy Overell could use a bit of education! When did your newspaper become so left? It’s such a shame, you used to be a good source of news.”

Never the less, global markets have been repeatedly desecrated and defiled by Donald Trump’s Twitter account as he continues to use the platform to share his policy brainfarts with the world.

The Australian Stock Exchange followed the trend this morning by going into free-fall on the back of Trump’s latest tweets about China.

Something, local stockbroker Thomas Antoniou says, will greatly affect many portfolios and self-managed super funds around the country.

“It’s not good for growth, espeically when most people have a diverse, global investment portfolio,”

“I manage Mr Cormorant’s super on his behalf and from what I can tell you, Dennis wouldn’t be such a fan of Mr Trump if he knew that he alone is responsible for the equivalent of a new Hilux going missing from his super savings over the past 36 months,”

“It’d be great if Trump could calm down a bit now. It’s EOFY and we in finance just want a break from him for a few weeks.”

The Advocate reached out to the White House for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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