The distance between where Kai Solomon stands in aisle four of Coles and the closest checkout has proven too much for a hungover Kai this afternoon, it has been confirmed.

It’s understood that Kai picked out an Isotonic Powerade (the blue one), at some point in the weekly shop his girlfriend was forcing him to endure, however, due to the Sahara like conditions in his mouth he was unable to wait any longer to drink the blue remedy.

Witnesses in Coles reported a succession of deep, satisfied yet painful sounding groans coming from Mr. Solomon’s vicinity, it is believed that these sounds coincided with Kai’s first sips of Powerade.

Speaking to The Advocate after leaving Coles, an empty bottle holding Kai took us through his recent ordeal.

“Oh man, it was touch and go there for a while”

“I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it through the shop at all, but the missus is a ball breaker so I had no choice”

“Once I got the drink though, it was like the distance between me and the checkout grew by 10km – I couldn’t wait till we got there, who knows how long it would have taken?”

“If it wasn’t for this blue Powerade, I don’t know if I’d be here talking to you”

Mr. Solomon’s drink desperation is a feeling that rings true to anyone with a pulse, this is evident by the empty juice, choccy milk and Powerade bottles scattered around Betoota supermarkets.

More to come.


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