ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

There was a time when Tim Greenberg would’ve laughed and turned his nose up at the idea of making his cat an Instagram account.

That was the time before he met David Freshen.

After a short courtship, they moved into their French Quarter apartment and joked about the day they’d get married. However, while they were both deliriously happy, something was missing.

Tim was able to quit his job organising and running dog fights behind the Grosvenor Hotel in Betoota Ponds.

Speaking to our reporter this morning, Tim explained that while it’s nice to be a homemaker with David being the family’s breadwinner, after he quit his job, he found it difficult to find purpose in life.

“We adopted a cat, Stella,” he said.

“My days are filled with shopping and housework but there’s only so much I can do before David yells at me for buying a sixth IKEA Poang recliner for the flat,”

“Doing that stuff didn’t make me happy. I was adrift.”

After their usual evening shouting match, David facetiously suggested that he start an Instagram account for Stella, seeing as though that’s what most of the other bored homemakers do around town.

“So I fucking did it,” said Tim.

“Stella has 400 followers, which is twice as much as David. I’ve got two thousand but that’s to be expected. David looks like a sucked mango seed that’s been punted across the Bruce Highway, whereas I look like Princess Diana’s butler’s hot younger brother,”

“Actually, that’s a bit mean. Don’t publish that. Anyway, starting an Instagram for Stella has honestly brought so much purrrpose [sic] to my life. The whole in my soul has been puttied up.”

More to come.


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