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Soon to be husband Mark Wills has had enough of the wedding planning and just wants to get on with it.

The Betoota Advocate sat down with one of the last great shit stirrers of our time this week. He’s got some very good stories, listen here:

After months of cake tasting, suit fittings, and location scouting, Mark says he would honestly be fine getting married in a tent.

“I guess I shouldn’t question it,” says Mark as he crunches the numbers in an Excel spreadsheet, “seems totally plausible that you should spend $10,000 on one day of your life.”

“I have tried to cut costs here and there,” he admits, “suggested a Vienetta or maybe a nice Coles Madeira cake. That got a solid no.”

“Or pigeons instead of doves. That got a no as well.”

Mark and his fiance both work in low paying jobs, but that hasn’t stopped them from buying into a day of extravagance and flagrant displays of love.

If not for a piece of paper and a very public ceremony, they worry people wouldn’t know they were a couple at all.

“A wedding isn’t about two people,” says Mark, “it’s about 100 people crammed into one room listening to you reminiscence about moments they weren’t present for.”

“Oh and buying you all the stuff you no longer can afford because you spent all your money on the wedding.”

“We’re thinking of just adding our gas and water bill on the wedding registry as we probably won’t be able to pay for that for a while.”

Mark also reveals that an additional $5K will be spent on a honeymoon and that the deep credit card debt will have to be momentarily forgotten.

That is, until they buy a house.

“Yeah plan is a house for next year but we don’t know how we’re going to do that,” Mark admits.

“Then a baby.”

“Sometimes I wonder if there’s a better way to do things?”

“Probably just cancel Netflix and Stan, it’s the little things that add up.”

It’s reported that Mark and his wife-to-be eventually went with a well-known wedding caterer and chose a four-tier, vanilla cake with golden flaked fondant.


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