A local NRL tragic is quietly cheerful this weeked, after blocking out news of war and famine and turning his attention to the return of ‘God’s Winter Game’.

After spending the last two weeks doom scrolling every night, constantly frying his eyeballs with updates concerning the horrors unfolding in the Ukraine, 34-year-old air conditioner repairman Bryson Hegarty couldn’t be more excited to tune into some Sunday Night Rugby League.

A long-term Broncos fan, who is secretly toying with the prospect of jumping on the Dolphins in 2023, Mr Hegarty told The Advocate he was primed and ready to watch 80 minutes of high-octane carnage, towering bombs and an assortment of on-field concussions.

“Mate it’s been a tough March, watching the floods tear through people’s homes, Ukranians fleeing their homeland and then Warnie getting out early…”

“I think I speak for many when I say, the world needs a bitta Rugba Leeg right now!” said a jubilant Mr Hegarty.

“Still got a couple Bundy n’ Cokes, a new Lazy-Boy I bought in December and a flat screen as big as a Kia Rio, all set up to watch this thing, let’s go!!”

“Even if the Broncos end up shit again this year, at least I can flick over and watch Preston Campbell’s son tear up on the Gold Coast.”

“As soon as I hear Ray ‘Rabbits’ Warren blaring through the fuzz of a plasma screen, as far as I’m concerned the world is beginning to heal itself.”

More to come.


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