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With Christmas around the corner, New Farm-based accountant Fraser Theodore has today begun to get plans in place to return home for the holiday season to stay with his family.
While he longs to see his loved ones and get back in touch with his roots, returning to his 20,000 person hometown of ‘Mulga Scrub’ in Western Queensland is never just as easy as paying for two full tanks of fuel and lunch at the Toowoomba Maccas.
The 28-year-old is the first to admit that he’s become somewhat of a city slicker ever since relocating to Brisbane’s inner-suburbs for university ten years ago, before landing himself a cushy white collar job and avoiding contact sport like the plague.
But he hasn’t been away from home long enough to forget that Christmas even at his hometown bottom pub is going to host some of the wildest punch-ons of the year.
He also knows his wild cousins back home aren’t gonna let him get away with staying home with his darling parents that evening.
This means, on top of the oil check on his 2015 Holden Caprice and a bit of Christmas shopping at his local Westfield, Fraser also needs to brush up on how to throw down.
That is, in case he is presented with a scenario that will require him to raise his fists to another man – a situation that even his dear mother knows is paying very short odds.
Now, with less than a month until he’ll be rolling back into town in a pair of trousers that look a little too clean for the liking of the riff raff back home, Fraser has booked in a crash course in mixed martial arts.
“I held my own last time I headed back to the Scrub” says Fraser.
“That was before the pandemic. Back in 2019, I was able to land a few on old mate until my big cousin Dusty came over the top with a bar stool”
“But lord help me if I get caught by myself in the TAB or beer garden this time around”
On top of general striking, Fraser says he wants to learn the art of grappling before he heads home.
“If I can take them to the ground and choke em out I should be right” he says.
“I’m also focusing on the leg kicks as well. You can fuck a man up with a leg kick and the cops won’t do shit about it”
“I don’t know if these bullriders and ringers know any disciplines other than the drunken brawl.
“I’m hoping If I can bring a bit of a Brazilian influence to my fighting this Christmas, I’ll keep the cunts off my back until after New Years Eve at the racecourse”