ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Some largely depressed young man from our town’s Heights district said he feels worthless because he hasn’t jumped on the real estate merry-go-round yet like some of his friends have.

However, the dreams that Zhane Finch has had about getting himself into a mid-six-figure debt might be closer to coming true than the software developer thinks.

His father has just purchased a motorcycle.

Zhane’s old man, William Finch, a now semi-retired project manager at the Betoota Shire Council, has a property portfolio and personal wealth that wouldn’t make sense given his salary if he didn’t work in local government.

To celebrate his retirement, Old Bill bought himself a motorbike that he can’t really handle that well.

Speaking candidly to The Advocate today about his Dad’s new bike, young Zhane said it’s only a matter of time.

“It’ll be sad,” said Zhane.

“When he gives the bike too big of a squirt coming up to a crest or something. Then the road turns sharply to the left and he just freezes up. He leaves the road at one fifth the speed of sound and headbutts a gumtree. I wouldn’t want him to like try to steer at the last minute and get a glancing blow, only to die slowly in the table drain over the proceeding 30 minutes. That’d be fucked for the old boy,”

“No, I’ve tried to talk him out of it. He won’t hear it so now I just browse Domain and wait for the phone call. You might think it’s macabre that I think about this stuff. I have ADHD so I guess that excuses my behaviour,”

“Now, should I get two units up the French Quarter or buy a big old house in the suburbs?”

When asked what his mother would think, Zhane said that doesn’t matter.

“The money comes to me, because I’m the old son,” he chuckled.

“Isn’t that how it works when they don’t have a will?”

More to come.


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