As the rabid, soap-dodging, bleeding-heart lefties look like they are on track to have our National Day changed to a date that everyone can be happy with, it appears the champion of free speech and offensive diatribe is marking a line in the sand.
Mark Latham, former leader for the opposition under Howard, is today making it clear that he will no longer be pushed around by the only people that voted for him in 2004.
“I am in preparation for the leftie takeover” he says.
“They are trying to change the Australian way of life enjoyed by hundreds of thousands of post-war suburban men who’ve never really had to change much in their life ever”
“I’m not having a bar of it. They can try their best to take my holidays from from me – But I will continue to celebrate, underground, with other Outsiders”
As the paranoid Baby Boomer waters his secret stash of Pine Christmas Trees in his secret Western Suburbs hydroponic warehouse, he begins pointing out the earliest signs of the secular leftie-wash of Christmas
“All these alternative schools in Sydney don’t even have nativity scenes at their end of year concerts – It’s like we’ve just bowed down and let them do their own thing”
Latham says if we give into these people then we’ll end up with no holidays at all.
“The lefties were the first to say Xmas in stead of Christmas” he said.
“That should have been a pretty clear sign that they wanted to start crossing out our national holidays”
It is believed Latham’s outrage will be suspended momentarily on Sunday afternoon when he has all of his family around him talking about other, non-political things over a lamb roast.