ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Long considered to be an unwritten law of the fourth estate, The Advocate can reveal that it’s actually written law in many tertiary journalism textbooks.
That would explain, according to some industry insiders, why generations of journalists and media professionals have been taught from a young age to ‘leave Alan alone’ because the influence he wields over the industry is too powerful.
“What Alan does is Alan’s business, not anyone else’s,” said one media personality who asked to remain anonymous.
Save for a few journalistic unicorns such as Chris Masters and Paul Barry, almost none have gone on to enjoy long and successful careers in journalism after a tangle with Jones.
That may change moving forward as a local textbook publishing house, McRip Offmount, have said along with other publishers around the country that they’re toying with the idea of taking that ‘No Jones Law’ out of future editions.
“While tertiary journalism remains as one of the biggest cons in the secondary education system,” said Lewis Frose, McRip Offmount’s director of publishing.
“It’s not possible to become a journalist these days without first spending twenty-odd thousand dollars on a degree nobody will ask to see or even care that you have,”
“Nevertheless, some of the lessons learned at journalism school between punching cones, drinking Vietnamese beer from ALDI and hooking up with strangers with cold sores, are very valuable. Can’t remember any off the top of my head but you know the ones I’m talking about. Ah, where was I? Oh yeah,”
“Now that Alan Jones, who was once the proudest and most powerful gazelle on the journalistic savannah, is now wounded and tired. He’s watching the circle of lions, hyenas and cheetahs grow steadily around him with each painful trot forward. The industry is waiting for the first lion to strike, then the feeding frenzy on Jones can begin,”
“When that happens, that section of our textbooks will be removed.”
The Advocate reached out to 2GB for comment but have yet to receive a reply.
Our reporter managed to get through to Mark ‘The Jester Of Jubilee” Riddell from Macquarie Sports Radio, who proceeded to say Alan Jones is his favourite Formula One driver of all time and wouldn’t say a bad thing about him, ever.
More to come.