A local Betoota man is asking the big questions this morning, trying to work out what the fuck is the go with Australia Post.

Standing in a queue 20-deep at the South Betoota post office, local whitegoods installer Gareth Hannay is believed to be a little perplexed by the various range of services and products on offer at the heritage listed building on Lockyer Street.

Staring at shelves lined with parcels, bubble wrap, novelty cookbooks, elderly-friendly mobile phones and the odd LCD TV, Gareth told our reporter he couldn’t quite work out how the nation’s postal carrier has become a multi-purpose void of peculiarity.

“I came in to pick up a parcel cos the Postie couldn’t be arsed to walk it up to my doorstep, and here I am stuck in a queue of people trying to apply for a passport!”

“Isn’t it a bit weird that after 200 years, the shop that sells cheap phones to drug dealers, is the same place we go to apply for international travel documentation?”

“And then we stand against some mouldy wall and get our photo taken, it’s kinda baffling!”

An organisation that has served Australia for over 200 years, the government business enterprise known as Australia Post advertises itself as “providing reliable and affordable postal, retail, financial and travel services”.

A store used by rural people to lodge passport applications or pay water bills in person, it’s understood the organisation has kicked off a new marketing strategy by attempting to sell weird shit that your Grandma might buy you for Christmas.

Stocking a collection of waffle makers, breakfast-in-bed trays and the odd toy robotic dog that yaps until its batteries catch on fire, it’s understood Australia Post has become a haven for dodgy goods and essential services.

“Like I just wanna pickup the boots I ordered online, but while I’m here I might as well buy my Dad a new set of BBQ tools, and apply for an international police check.”

“I can do everything I’ve never needed all in one!”


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