ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Chief Boomer Appeaser of New South Boomerstan (NSB) has entered high-level talks with a number of property developers this morning in an effort to deal with the student climate strike set to happen in Sydney, the nation’s worst place, tomorrow afternoon.

The move comes after her election opponent, Michael Daley, said it was OK for the school students of his second-rate state to wag school to protest our government’s apathy towards the planet’s death.

It’s understood by The Advocate that Daley also consulted his vast Rolodex of property developer mates for advice on how to tackle the climate strike problem – and they told him to support it.

However, Premier Berejiklian’s government was still on the fence.

Speaking candidly to our reporter via popular end-to-end encryption messenger, Wickr, a member of the NSB Liberal Party said that only one thing is for certain tomorrow.

“There will be a heavy police presence at the protest tomorrow,” they said.

“Expect a couple of students from a low socio-economy background to be randomly selected for a drug strip search. Police are also open to the idea of capsicum-spraying kids just for the fuck of it,”

“Plus those overall/jumpsuit public order cops will be shining their jackboots tonight in anticipation of booting a few kids in the brain tomorrow, just for good measure. Have you seen what those telescopic batons do to somebody’s level of consciousness? You’ll find out tomorrow when a Year 9 student calls one of them a ‘bootlicking pig cunt’. Should be interesting.”

More to come.


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