ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The ABC’s Four Corners programme is lifitng the lid on another Parliament House sex scandal tonight, forcing the nation to picture a politician having sex again.

Tonight’s episode of Four Corners is going ahead as planned after the Morrison Government tried to block the broadcast of it as it contains news and current affairs that could be damaging to the Government and Mr Morrison’s own personal brand.

The episode will feature testament from former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, who said the Canberra bubble had a culture of ‘sex and booze’ that physically repulsed him on a number of levels.

In the hours before the show goes to air, the nation is wondering which ones of these people has been doing the horizontal riverdance with someone who isn’t their spouse or partner.

“I bet it’s going to be someone fucked,” said one local man.

“Like, worse than Barnaby and old Fuck My Woman Andrew Broad. Who do you reckon it is? It’s gotta be a Nat or someone from the LNP. To be honest, I could imagine most people in the Greens and Labor getting up to no good in the bedroom,”

“Like real plastic bedsheet stuff. Stuff that’d send granny to the next world type of stuff. They’re freaks.”

But another local man said he wasn’t thrilled at the news, telling The Advocate that he doesn’t pay all this tax to have it pissed up the wall.

“By the sounds of things, it’s seems like these pricks in Canberra have been taking our tax dollars to the bar,” he said.

“Then they get a gutfull of piss in them and go back to a hotel room to fumble around for 45 seconds until some elected offical embarrases himself,”

“I hate this shit. I just want to go 30 seconds without having to imagine some old fucking politican getting fucked or fucking someone they shouldn’t be fucking. Fuck me, it fucking does my fucking head in, it does.”

More to come.


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