LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
As The Australian and other satirical news sites have confirmed, no one was hit harder by the spicey cough than employers.
First dealing with the loss of their employees who were either made redundant or made to work from home, the nation’s employers are now struggling to get their staff back to the office full time and have had to make working conditions pleasant in order to do so.
However, a couple of decks of Assorted Creams can only encourage so much time back in the office as employees enjoy the benefits of working from home which include dressing for comfort, being able to take care of housework, ease of running errands, increased access to family, and all the other things employers hope are bred out of future generations.
Aside from not adjusting wages to meet inflation, one thing employers can agree on is that they have no idea how to react to their employees vaping during a work Zoom call.
Vaping was already gaining momentum as an addictive new vocation down under but was helped massively by spicey cough lockdowns as those in captivity reached for a relaxing hobby that somehow gave one the sense of control over something in this manic world.
As a result, many people are still gripping their berry-flavoured lung shorteners and have taken to grabbing a few puffs during a work Zoom call because they are in their own home and it’s kind of nostalgic conducting business with someone inhaling nicotine.
“It’s like the ‘80s again, but without all the workplace harassment,” stated fintech GM Graham Latham.
“I’m just having a chat and they start puffing away. There’s nothing wrong with it I guess but maybe they could turn their camera off but then that might draw attention to it? Fuck, I dunno, it’s just weird!”
Employees of Latham have stated their mid-meeting vape puffs are purely addiction-related and are in no way a powermove used to demonstrate a lack of jurisdiction outside of the office.