In a clear cut example of how generous Australia is willing to be to people who came here the right way, Peter Dutton has today dropped everything in the heat of Parliament to order medical treatment of a foreign national on Australian soil.

It is believed during a phone call with a prominent Liberal Party donor and old mate, the Minister For Home Affairs was made aware of an unfortunate incident that might require some observation from a medical professional.

After months of exhausting duties in the back shed at a prominent South Australian vineyard-polo-ground-wedding-venue, a 21-year-old asylum-and-nannying-work seeker in the Adelaide Hills is believed to have been emitting a beautiful glow late last night, sparking great concern for her employers

Peter Dutton was today made aware of this today through an unexpected phone call from a rich South Australian aristocrat that he used to pretend to enjoy AFL around.

“I’ve fucked up big time, mate” the donor is alleged to have told Dutton.

“I just gotta get her out of here. I’ll pay for everything, you know I always pay for these favours”

Matilda is currently being processed in a remote part of South Australian is offered all of the medical support she needs.

Matilda was born and raised in the the northeast of France, now best known as the Champagne wine region for the sparkling whites that bears its name. After her home was destroyed by an extremist regime of winemakers, the stateless non-English speaking vagrant decided to make the life or death decision to move to Australia.

Matilda’s dash for refugee status in Australia comes after learning that The Australian Home Affairs Minister, Peter Dutton, is a big sympathisers with hot chicks who need help getting into the country to raise rich people’s children, after the revelations he granted European nannies visas when he held the immigration portfolio.

According to the Border Force website, when Australian families have enough money for a full-time unpaid nannies that lives in their house for free, they begin speaking French, and saying words like Au Pair.

Au Pair is the title given to unskilled blonde hot chicks like Matilda – and it appears that they get into this country easier than Chinese political donors with links to the Communist Party. However, unfortunately when they get knocked up, they leave faster than a paroled bikie with Kiwi citizenship.

As he did during her messy arrival to Australia, Peter Dutton has immediately intervened in Matilda’s case.

He has since organised for the aspiring sous-chef to stay at a Unmarried Women’s Home in his North Brisbane electorate – where she will give birth to a stateless child and both will be sent back to France before his mate’s misso finds out.



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