ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Though he means well, a door-knocking campaigner from the Channel Country Chamber Of Commerce Party (CCCCP) has been assured one local man will put them last at the upcoming local government elections this month after interrupting the man’s dinner.

French Quarter resident, Spencer Reedy, a devotee to the CCCCP since before it became a fringe political organisation, says he’s passionate enough to put his feet where his mouth is.

“I’m hitting the footpaths of Betoota, meeting voters and small business owners, to spread the CCCCP’s message,” he said.

“And my interactions have been both good and bad. I suppose you have to take that, I guess. My own uncle called me a, ‘bootlicking bedwetter’ because I’m supporting the business owners, not the workers,”

“But I’m not phased. I’ve met a number of people who seemed supportive of my message. Like this guy, Doug, I met in Betoota Heights.”

The Advocate spoke briefly to Douglas Pheter, a comically-unpopular recluse who shot to local fame in 2009 after mailing scores of dead birds to various state and federal politicians around the country.

Nevertheless, our reporter was intrigued.

But what our reporter was able to discover about Doug’s interaction with Spencer, the ‘bootlicking bedwetter,’ was far from what he’d been told previously.

“I’m putting them last,” said Doug.

“Because they interrupted my dinner. Who, in their right mind, wants to speak to somebody after they’ve come home from work, kicked their Hush Puppies off and thrown their belt to the shithouse?”

“No cunt, Errol. No cunt at all. So you tell that Spencer prick, if you see him again, to take my vote and shove it up his arse!”

“I’ve got half a mind to head out into the yard with the slug gun, shoot me a few top-knotch pigeons off the powerlines and mail them to those bastards at the CCCCP!”

The Advocate advised him to do so.

More to come.


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