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Prime Minister Albanese and the new LNP Premier for Queensland, David Crisafulli have today announced succesful negotiations between both the state and Federal government when it comes to funding for the upcoming Brisbane Olympics and public school reforms.
It is believed that these negotations took place over dinner in Brisbane, where the PM was encouraged to join the Queensland Premier in preparation of a pasta dinner, using the famous Crisafulli family recipe.
In a refreshing change to the pandemic era when Prime Minister Scott Morrison and Queensland leader Annastacia Palaszczuk were constantly, and public at war with one another, the current PM and new Premier have not let party loyalties get in the way of getting the best results for Queenslanders.
Queensland was the last jurisdiction holding out on the agreement between the commonwealth and each of the states and territories to fully fund public schools, according to the Gonski Review.
Both Albanese and Crisafulli, labelled the deal as “historic” – and the deal is expected to support 560,000 public school students in the state.
When asked about the negotiations with the Labor PM, the Queensland Premier said it helps that they both have the same taste in fine Italian food, and admits that while they enjoyed an Ingham style pasta for dinner, Mr Albanese did teach him a few things about Italian cooking.
“In politics, dinner is always a big thing. We usually have a pasta course and then we have a meat or fish.” said Crisafulli.
“Albo did the prep work, and he had this wonderful system for doing the garlic. He used a razor, and he sliced it so thin that it would liquefy in the pan with just a little oil. It was a very good system.”
As both men, from either side of the political aisle began to chuckle, journalists began to quiz them over entrees and appertifs.
However, this ethnic love-in has not been received well by Crisafulli’s Federal colleagues. Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has today had to bite his tongue to avoid making yet another outdated slur – this time, about Italian people.
“Now Crisafulli’s got Albanese as a partner.” Dutton told the Betoota Advocate.
“Any problems, he goes to Albanese. Trouble with the bill? He can go to Albanese. Trouble with the cops, deliveries, Crisafulli, he can call Albanese. But now the guy’s gotta come up with Albanese’s money every week, no matter what. Business bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning, huh? Fuck you, pay me”
