A recent report by mum has found that dad is a little bit self concsious about his most recent generic dad haircut, and you should tell him he doesn’t look like an absolute goose.

Despite never noticing when mum or his daughters have had a haircut, even something as dramatic as bangs or a change of colour, dad’s conspiracy that his new barber might have clipped him half a blade lower than usual is a terrifying prospect.

“You reckon?” says Dad, while rubbing his hand through his hair, after a relentless barrage of compliments.

“I’m not convinced”

Dad is just one of millions of men around that age who don’t trust anyone with the power to change anything about their lives, particularly something like a haircut – which as all dad’s secretly know, can be very fucking humiliating if done wrong.

“I reckon she’s buggered it up, actually” he says in a moment of severe weakness, and raw self consciousness.

“Don’t be stupid. No one will notice” says his adult daughter, who had breast implants put in six months ago without dad even noticing her obvious change in frame.

“I dunno. My ears are a bit visible.”

Dad then vows to return to his same barber that he’s visited since the Berlin Wall was torn down, but forgot to book an appointment with this week.



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