LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Ahead of the State of Origin game 3 decider, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has made it clear that his allegiance once again is with his ‘mighty blue team.’

“I only have to buy the one scarf thus bringing us closer to surplus!” stated Mr Morrison as he waved his Cronulla Sharks flag, careful to cover the Penfolds stain it sustained las time he actually wore it. 

“Wouldn’t want to be a Marooner today mate! Gross!”

So enthusiastic is our nation’s leader about the upcoming football game that he took to social media to fire some shots at Los Angeles pop-rock group Maroon 5.

Known for hits such as ‘This Love’ and ‘Moves Like Jagger,’ the seven piece band found themselves at the receiving end of a series of tweets from the PM citing the band could not catch or pass to save their lives. 

“The @maroon5 better get ready for Clearly [sic] to kick a hole through their goal and cop a big tackle from the Payney Trainy Haasmeister!” 

When asked at a press conference to elaborate on his tweets directed at the triple Grammy Award-Winning band, Mr. Morrison stated everything people need to know is in his tweets and he cannot make it any clearer than that. 

“What part of it do you not understand?” asked the PM, while attempting to spin a football on his finger like a basketball before doubling down.

“The Maroon 5 are in for a shocker when Freddie’s boys, that’s the coach by the way, torment their back 5 with some serious footy skills.”

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