One of nation’s supermarket duopoly have made a big media splash today, by revealing a huge marketing change.

Famous for lying about selling affordable groceries to the nation, Coles have flipped their ‘Down Down’ marketing campaign on its head.

“We’ve decided to just cut the shit,” laughed the head of marketing at the supermarket giant.

“To reflect inflation and the profiteering we are blaming on the ‘war in Ukraine’ we are changing our slogan to Up Up, Prices are Up.”

“We just figure it’s better as a brand to be honest.”

“And the ACCC is probably gonna come after us if we keep claim to be pushing prices down on products we artificially raised through the roof.”

The huge announcement comes a short time after the company revealed a $1.048 billion six month profit, despite claiming to be hit hard by logistical costs, supply costs and rising operating costs.

While the billion dollars worth of profits might indicate that large companies are profiteering off the average Australian, Coles says business changes they’ve made have been a crucial part in ripping off farmers and consumers.

Woolworths have yet to reveal how and when they’ll hit back in the supermarket war, but internal figures have revealed that they are fiddling around with their own slogan.

It’s touted that a possible change to the Fresh Food People could see them become the Price Gouge People.

Regardless of the changes, both companies say that the inflationary pressure they are putting on the market is out of their control, and the RBA needs to sort things out.

More to come.


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