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A local Finance and Account Management Sales Analyst has confirmed to The Advocate today that ‘cold weather is very compatible with a few schooners, haha.’

Nathan White, a 31-year-old from our town’s Grove district said he’s ready to batten down the hatches until this cold weather fucks off.

His comments come despite the fact that Australia is currently experiencing it’s warmest Winter and Spring on record.

“When the mercury drops down, it’s time to warm my self up with a few laughing liquids,” said the expert, as he joined his mates down at an Old City District pub.

“Besides, don’t want to be out in the open when there’s wild weather about you know.”

“Better to be safe indoors and then maybe if there’s a quiet patch, later on, I’ll duck out and get home safely.”

That’s what he’s telling his mates anyway, as he works tirelessly to convince them to stick around and tie one on with him.

It is believed that Nathan is also the expert on whether or not you can drink while taking antibiotics, which you can do, according to Nathan, because the commonly accepted view that you shouldn’t drink on antibiotics is a myth from the olden days, but technology is way more advanced and it means you can have a schooner.

He is also the expert on how long it takes to get out of the city on a Friday arvo, and weather his mate who has a wife and a newborn waiting at home should just wait until the traffic clear up a bit before he orders and Uber because you may as well be sitting here tipping a few jars rather than waiting in the back of some bloke’s car while the motorway sits still like a car park.

MORE TO COME.

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