ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The red-faced goon who moonlights as the Mayor of our town has expressed shock at the news today that a large parcel of land on the town’s southern outskirts earmarked for development is owned by his wife.

Councillor Keith Carton, who’s been Mayor of our cosmopolitan desert community for nearly two decades, went on to explain that it’s ‘all a coincidence’ and the fact that one of his family members stood to directly benefit from the Shire Council’s decision is just the luck of the drawer.

“There’s nothing to see here, Errol,” he yelled.

Mayor Carton shouted briefly to The Advocate from his third story office window as the receptionist at the Shire Council chambers wouldn’t let our reporter up to see him.

“Dig all you want, it’s all above board. That land has been in my wife’s family for generations. It was going to be developed anyway, regardless of who owned it,”

“If you don’t like it, call the Triple C!”

Mayor Carton then slammed the window shut and pulled the blind across.

Upon further investigation, Carton’s wife of 30 years, Aubergine Seymour, has only owned the land for a short period of time.

Our reporter’s findings have been forwarded to the Crime and Corruption Commission in Brisbane and were told they might look into it – but not to get our hopes up.

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here