LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

Good news for lovers of peace and harmony as a rapidly heating sandwich press suggests that a cheese toastie is going to solve the world’s problems for the next 5-10 minutes.

Despite living in an age of increased quality of life, there seems to be an overbearing shared sentiment that our corporation-led world is spinning towards a dark and tragic end either due to global warming, mass conflict or (most likely) both.

But for Gemma Burton of Betoota Heights, all that darkness will fade away once she plucks that hot & crispy toastie out of the sandwich press and applies it to her face.

“I used butter instead of margarine,” stated Burton, forgetting this whole China situation. 

“Should keep me going until dinner.” 

Tucking into the delicious edible pocket of cheese and bread, Burton enjoyed the nourishing unity of the high calorie ingredients, completely forgetting the toxic discourse that kicked off when the cheese she used to make the toastie changed its name so it was no longer a racial slur.

Breaking through the butterly thin outer layer of crisp yet still spongy white bread, Burton observed a dangling tendril of melty cheese swinging carefree as if Australia’s poor stance on climate change was something that could be casually avoided.

“Sometimes I add baked beans!”


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