ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
An uppity cattle tick from our town’s north has said the media, including this masthead, should apologise for participating in the journalist stacks on of Cardinal George Pell.
Greg Burgundy, a lisping uptown boy who was railroaded into participating in these largely pagan traditions by his parents as a boy, said publications such as this masthead – and other regional newspapers in the far south-west corner of the glorious state of Queensland have blood on their hands.
“If some Jack Ruby or Sirhan Sirhan type comes out of the woodwork and greases him, it will be your fault,” he said.
The 34-year-old is standing, illegally, out the front of The Advocate’s office asking to see our editor, Clancy Overell, who is currently on remand in the French Quarter watchhouse for kicking the side-mirrors off his estranged brother’s Commodore last night.
He might be waiting a while.
“Longer than Moses wandered the desert that cunt will wait,” said Clancy via telephone.
“My counsel says I’m facing up to 40 years in prison. They went through my Statesman and found all the guns. Can you send our barrister down tomorrow? I’m afraid being exceeding wealthy and well connected won’t get me out of this one.”
After speaking to the judges down at Royal Betoota Golf Club this afternoon, our reporter can conclude that Clancy has two legal lives left and should expect to have his charges thrown out as early as tomorrow.
“It’s how the legal system works,” said one judge.
“Today, I think it’s more obvious than other days, don’t you think?”
More to come.
