ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

As Adelaide returns to a state of suspended animation, cars have begun to return and reclaim the city’s weird bus tracks for themselves.

The Advocate spoke briefly to SA Premier Steven Marshall, who explained that the editors of this masthead should be ashamed of themselves.

“No, your newspaper has been blacklisted with my office,” he said.

“You have white dog shit in your head where your brain should be. Put that quote in your newspaper.”

Nevertheless, cars were seen on the O-Bahn during the first lockdown but were soon scared away when the state awoke from the national covid coma in June.

Adelaide decided to build the O-Bahn Busway after someone in the state government down there went to Germany and saw the original one. It’s cheaper than building a train and also gives the bus drivers time to relax because believe it or not, the bus actually steers itself along the tracks using some sort of clever system that’s far beyond the reaches of our reporter.

“It’s more interesting than a tram and cooler than a regular bus,” said one South Australian who obviously hasn’t seen the story about a certain bank in a certain town that this newspaper published this morning.

“And we also have a train, the Indian Pacific, so why do we need another one? I don’t like trams, trams remind me of Melbourne. Melbourne tried to cancel Don Bradman for being racist and hating Catholics,”

“You know guys, there’s more to Adelaide and South Australia than just cheap jokes about being getting put in barrels. Did you know Douglas Mawson is from South Australia? He was on the old $100 note. They replaced him with Sir John Monash, who is extremely problematic in his own right. Sir Roden Cutler would’ve been a better pick, in my South Australian opinion. He had his leg blown off by a Vichy Frenchman. I could go on for hours about things.”

More to come.


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