Residents of Brisbane say the abrupt reduction in the number of CityCats ploughing through the river because of the coronavirus lockdown is seeing a positive impact, with the famous Brown Snake cleaner than they have been for years.

Residents have observed swarms of fish in the usually muddy waters, as the city takes a break from tourism and the spill-off of factories, revealing sights not seen in the Queensland since Sir Johannes Bjelke-Petersen was premier.

While the ecosystem is thriving from the mouth of the river to Lake Wivenhoe, Brisbane residents are even reporting seeing left-wing activists for the first time in over thirty years.

The skeletons of hundreds of trade union, Indigenous, LGBTI and suffragette campaigners and advocates are now finally visible from land as the water clears.

“Amazing!” says South Bank local Milton Petrie (55), who spoke to our reporters on the William Jolly bridge today while taking in the sights.

“I you can even see their placard signs from when they were protesting the rough treatment of the hippies at UQ!”

“Haha. Ironic isn’t it? Getting murdered by special branch cops for simply protesting against police brutality”

Another resident, Karen Dale (60) says she never thought she’d see this many real leftie activists in Queensland again.

“Wow. Look that skeleton is even grasping the police badge of one the cops that threw her in the river for being homosexual!”

When approached for comment on the dark revelations on the Brisbane riverbed today, Premier Palaszczuk says it’s great to know that history will never repeat itself.

“That’s why I banned protesting. Climate strikers don’t have to to disappear if they can’t protest haha”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here