ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A man who clearly has rocks inside his head where his brain should be laughed off that very suggestion earlier this month after signing a 5-Year no deposit finance agreement with his local Jeep dealership.
Coupled with a 40% balloon payment at the end of the loan, Betoota Heights town planner Michael Butler couldn’t help but tell his friends and family that he’d found the ‘deal of a lifetime’.
But the pleasuredome (of his own decree) within his very own Xanadu came crashing down just after lunch today after the check engine light came on.
The 31-year-old fool was certain his new brand Wrangler would at least make a thousand before it shit itself.
Upon calling the dealership, the simple Gemini found that the 146 000 metres his car had travelled since rolling off the production line until the engine light was actually a world record.
Thankfully, it’s covered by Jeep’s famous 28-day/1 Million Metre warranty.
Our reporter joined Old Rock Brains Butler as he strolled the aisles of the French Quarter SuperCheapAuto, looking for the tools needed to set an over-insured car on fire.
“It’s a fucked thing, it is,” he said.
“There were lots of things I was prepared to overlook. Like how it’s got the ANCAP safety rating of an out-of-control shopping cart. How there’s apartments in Sydney with a better build quality. How Molly Meldrum could do a hundred chin-ups before the Jeep can go from zero to a hundred,”
“Many things. But this is just taking the piss.”
When asked if he took any solace in having the best-made Jeep since the year when General George S Paton died going through a Jeep’s windscreen, Butler said he didn’t.
The Advocate reached out to Overell Jeep Betoota Heights for comment but all staff were preoccupied trying to sucker local idiots into buying a new Wrangler.
More to come.