Local man Alex Lewishman insists he had a quiet one last night.

It’s alleged the twenty-seven-year-old Betoota Heights local had gone out for a ‘couple of bevvies’ but hadn’t returned until three in the morning.

Though his girlfriend Ellie wasn’t the type of person who’d attempt to stop her partner from having a good time, she’d grown increasingly concerned about Alex’s drinking habits which had progressed from getting shitfaced on the weekend to hitting the turps on a nightly basis. 

After some begging on her part, which involved a splash of waterworks mixed with a bit of gentle body-shaming , Alex had promised he’d leave the sauce solely for the weekend – because binge drinking to blackout point is completely okay as long as it’s done on a Saturday.

However, Alex’s insistence that he’d had a relatively sober night has unfortunately been undermined by the presence of an AGB, which has stunk out the entire ensuite bathroom. The residual skiddies, coupled with a slurred voicemail from his mate confirming that yes, they definitely should start a business together, have confirmed Ellie’s suspicions that Alex is in fact lying about his sobriety.

It’s unknown what Ellie will do about Alex’s duplicity, but the slightly strained look on his face suggests Alex knows his bowels have dobbed him in.

More to come.


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