A local woman with a mild case of dyslexia has expressed frustration today after discovering her attempt to lose weight with a low-crab diet has been less successful than expected. 

“I just don’t understand it” complained Emma Turine, 34.

“The internet said I should aim for less than 50g of crabs per day and I thought it would be really easy, especially since I don’t normally eat crab anyway”.  

The keen dieter has successfully curtailed her crustacean consumption from zero grams last month to an even more impressive zero grams this month; but the scales have barely even moved. 

“I reckon you’ve got the wrong number, mate” said a spokesperson from ACDA, the Australian Crabmeat Dietary Advice board.

“This is Air Conditioning Accessories and Ducting; ACAD. Sounds like you’re after the ACDA.”

When pushed for comment, he explained he recently saw a crazy video of a crab holding a knife on the internet but was unable to elaborate on how this was relevant to Emma’s situation. 

Meanwhile, Emma has pledged to continue to cut crabs out of her already crab-free diet until she sees results.

Emma also admits the she too has seen the video of the crab brandishing the knife which she concedes is pretty crazy. 

 More to come.


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