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A well-known pinger rat has officially hung up his party shoes and become a respectable human being, after a solid 15 years of depraved behaviour, it’s reported.
Ben or ‘Baccy Ben’, as he was affectionately known by his former classmates, has allegedly turned a new leaf, and emerged as a spiritual yoga instructor without any help from psychedelics.
It’s whispered that Ben changed his tune after swallowing too many disco bickies one Saturday night.
Though it’s unknown what the voices told him, Ben was reportedly seen disposing of a box of items into the trash later that week, which looked to include a pair of Kaleidoscope goggles, ten small, black bottles and a tattered DeadMau5 CD.
His large group of friends, who had all been slowly collected in smokers’ areas over the years, were allegedly sceptical of this new, improved version of Ben, finding it hard to believe that the bloke who candyflipped on the regular was now a straighty 180.
However, his good mate Ty confirms that Ben really is a reformed man, noting that he ‘even saw him use a whipped cream dispenser for a tart pie, without once taking the canister to his lips.’
It’s unknown how long this healthier version of Ben will last, but if his new Instagram page dedicated to his house plants is anything to go by, it might be a while.
More to come.