ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Local gambling agency, PoonBet, is now offering odds on which Sydney apartment building will be the next one to be condemned.

As our cosmopolitan and thriving desert community’s most predatory betting app, PoonBet told The Advocate this afternoon that while they’re not in the business of making money off human suffering and misery, they are in the business of offering the best markets to their customers.

A weak-chinned and man-boobed young man from PoonBet took time out of his busy afternoon of walking around the office with a football to speak to our reporter about Poon’s latest offering.

“We’ve got famous buildings like the Toaster and the Astor in the market,” he laughed. His wispy-haired gullet jiggling playfully beneath his chapped lips.

“Rich people live there so they’ll never be condemned! Nah most of the bottom end of the market are those fugly looking things out near the airport. That’s what happens when you build cheaply on a reclaimed wetlands – which is what Mascot basically is,”

“Anyway. Get onto the Poon and get the best odds in the Diamantina Shire! Woo! Woo!”

Our reporter then went to ask the man’s name for the story but ultimately decided he didn’t really care about this man or what he had to say.

The man then went back to walking around the office with his half-deflated Gilbert.

More not coming.


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