ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Kurdish-Iranian journalist and refugee, Behrouz Boochani, touched down in his new home of New Zealand yesterday evening and it’s being reported that he’s already slipped seamlessly into Kiwi life.

As he woke this morning, the award-winning writer did what many New Zealanders have done before him.

He pulled on an early-to-mid 90s All Blacks jersey then some sort of pant. Slipped on an odd-pair of Blundstones and started the short walk down to Countdown to buy milk, cigarettes and The New Zealand Herald.

Walking out of the shop taking large sips from the milk bottle, the 36-year-old noticed something terrible on the back page of the paper. He saw some sports reporter had given credit where credit was due – and named Michael Hooper and David Pocock as being the standout pair of flankers in the recent Rugby World Cup in Japan.

“What a load of shit!’ laughed Behrouz.

“Sir Richie would’ve been able to mark both of them while he did his Sunday morning sudoku on Nick Phipps’ back!”

“Michael bloody Hooper, aye? Give me a break!”

Behrouz threw the paper down on the bonnet of somebody else’s 1998 Subaru Outback while he lit himself a cigarette.

He took one last swig of his full-strength milk and screwed the cap.

“Now I’ve heard everything!”

More to come.


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