LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

A family home in Betoota Heights is a blast with the sound of ‘60s surf rock band The Beach Boys after patriarch Hamish Gurn (56) presumably rewatched the movie Cocktail (1988) again.

Starring Tom Cruise and Brian Brown, Cocktail features the trans-pacific duo as a pair of flair bartenders who try to pick up women to big dog one another.

With only a 7% score on review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes, the film is best remembered for the use of The Beach Boys’ number one single Kokomo, an ode to a fictional island in the Florida Keys.

At present, Hamish Gurn is on day three of his Beach Boys Binge, meaning his family will probably have to hear Kokomo, as well as Gurn’s own harmonies, for another six days.

“Have you heard their one about surfing?” asked Gurn, just having a little joke.

“Do you know, I used to shred a bit too actually.” 

According to his family, Gurn has not been completely transparent about his Cocktail/Beach Boys combo which has seen the family group chat flooded with Kokomo parody versions and memes about Bryan Brown which appear to be homemade. 

“Yeah, Tom Cruise plays a guy called Brian, how confusing is that? Coughlin’s law; come up with better names boofheads!” 

Wife of Gurn, Mildred Gurn, was unable to make a formal statement as she was hiding the ironing board so Hamish would not stand on it and break it like he did last time he watched cocktail.

“He’s already smashed a vase he threw over his head like a bottle, I’m not taking any risks,” stated Mildred as she finally snapped the Cocktail DVD in half.

“Just saved you 103 minutes.” 

Mildred Gurn then walked away and swore loudly after catching herself privately singing the chorus of Kokomo.


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