ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Baoding Billycart, known as the Great Wall Steed to the layperson, might be the next innocent victim in Australia’s ongoing ‘cold trade war’ with China as the nation’s ambassador to Beijing said Australians wouldn’t be taking these new sanctions lying down.

Each year, Australians buy thousands of Great Wall Steeds and many more have to commit insurance fraud to get out of the repayments once the thing inevitably breaks down.

The trade of Baoding Billycarts is worth an estimated $2m to the Chinese economy each year. It’s alleged to be detrimental to the local one.

It’s unclear at the moment just what impact the Ambassador’s words will have on the Chinese Government’s actions regarding Australia but many in the industry have told The Advocate that they’re not holding their breath.

Closer to town, The Advocate’s editor, Clancy Overell, is a proud Great Wall owner and has expressed his sadness that the trade war has now drawn his beloved Steed into the fray.

“It might have rear drum brakes the size of boot polish tins,” he said.

“It might wobble itself half to death at highway speeds. The piston rings might be thinner than roadhouse toilet paper but she’s my ute. I’ve run clear over half a dozen wombats and she’s still trucking long. In fact, the most damage I’ve done to that was the time I ran over Mrs Bohumphrey’s Pekingese bitch. You remember that time? The dog basically exploded on the bottom rung of the bullbar and got all in the radiator?”

“The radiator was so clogged up, I nearly cooked the cunt on the Lake Road going out to Sully’s Christmas Party, it was damn near fifty that day. Lucky. Tell you what, a fucken Hilux would’ve cooked like rump steak on Granny’s hotplate!”

“Good car, my Baoding Baby is.”

The Advocate has reached out to the Chinese Consulate in Betoota Grove for comment but has yet to receive a reply that isn’t plutonium teabags or a DDoS attack.

More to come.


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